I've been asked this a time or two since I participated in Laurie's 40 Over 40 campaign, and what I've said is that it was a pivotal time for me to embrace myself, my life journey, and work towards greater body acceptance.  For me, it was an empowering move after a bit of a life disappointment.  

I have had 14 surgeries, and lost nearly 270lbs, but still been plagued with health issues that prevent me from going forward with plastic surgery to have skin removal in the immediate future.  

Prior to this shoot, I had been anxiously waiting for the time when I could start the final leg of "fixing" my body into a more beautiful aesthetic, and I had dreams of doing a boudoir shoot when I finished the long journey I have been on.  

When it became clear that taking those next steps are not certain, I started to shift my thinking about what my excess skin & scars represent...they are a testament to the trials and fortitude I have survived.  To erase them might be putting the final wrapping on the present, but wrapped or not, the gift is the life I have right now.

I could have never anticipated quite the depth of the cathartic feeling doing this shoot with Laurie would be for me.  

I challenged myself to create a social media campaign vulnerably revealing what I look like under my clothes, totally nude and raw without makeup and hair styling, as most people see me now as a regular 52-year-old woman, maybe even a petite one.

And I wanted to show that what you see on the surface doesn't always reflect what is under our clothes or the depth of our life journey.  

It was such a scary vulnerable step to take, especially for one such as me who loves the wrapping, the makeup, hair, clothing, shoes, the costumes of life.  I've come a long way to hide my health challenges as it's not as readily visible to others as it was when I had excess weight on my body.  

And here I was reminding or showing people, strangers, that I am a less than perfect package.  

Laurie also wanted to ensure we captured my beauty so we started raw and then ended with a more polished aesthetic.  

I think we very successfully showed what is true in one image of wrinkled skin and scars don't eliminate or prevent me from also being beautiful, evocative, or sexy in another, we are complex, and the display of our bodies is just as interesting and diverse.  

Each one of us is a depth of experiences, emotions, and beauty which Laurie has the innate skill to capture and bring to the shiny surface in her photographs.  

I doubt there has ever been a person that has seen themselves the same way after they have had a session with Laurie.  

We see ourselves day in and day out, but we often judge or dial in on our insecurities and Laurie dials in on your essence, your grace, and depth and shows you what you never stop to admire in yourself.  

She doesn't style you in a way a director would an actor, she encourages you to let go and be yourself like a therapist does, she opens a door for you to be in a space you don't often explore.  

She does it with kindness, safety, and gentle encouragement.

The final photo reveal that she sets up when you are all done is amazing.  

It's almost overwhelmingly emotional to see the number of stellar images of yourself and to choose which ones you can let go of and which ones create the package of yourself you haven't been in touch with before (at least for me) was phenomenal.

Then in a few weeks, you get to see your images displayed in whatever format you chose which is just further physical proof that magical day is in print for all time.

Finally the cohort of 40 Over 40 got the opportunity to be displayed in a gallery space at cSPACE King Edward for people to see and read about culminating in a community initiative where money was raised for the very worthy cause Made by Momma.

From the start of the initial interviews with Laurie through to the fundraising close of the gallery show, it's an empowering experience of women choosing to highlight and liberate women over the age of 40 who are an often under-recognized demographic, especially in the sensual realm.

I can honestly say this experience was life changing, validating in a way I had never expected, and as a bonus I met intriguing women, heard their stories, supported & celebrated others and I have made a lifelong friend in Laurie.  

One of the best experiences of my life, I'll always be proud of taking on this personal challenge and the things I learned about myself in the process.  

Thank you Laurie, I'll be forever cheering on each new cohort of ladies who take on this investment and self-discovery in themselves.

-Regan Bourassa

Follow Regan's journey of health and self-acceptance on Instagram @pacemyheart.

Learn more about 40 Over 40 and how you could be a part of the next exhibit here: